May Sickness: 28

Chapter 28

Roy stood in front of his closed door, staring across his bedroom. His mind was racing, every thought it seemed, was in his head, what if’s, why’s and how’s.

Roy fell to the floor, his forehead on the carpet.

His head started to throb, excruciatingly painful, pulsating.

Soon Roy had his thoughts under control, but something was still eating at him, like he was forgetting something.

He sled his hands through his hair. How stupid was I to think I was the only one. If I can control people that means others can, if I can peer into their minds that means they can.

But coming to a realization Roy’s eyes opened to an extreme extent, his jaw dropped. “Kevin!” he yelled.

Rage once again engulfed him and once again his clothes started to deteriorate.

“Damn, I have to calm down.”

Roy closed his eyes and started to slow his breathing. He could tell that it was making a difference. But still his clothes fell apart. He then cleared his mind, not thinking. Everything stopped.

The alarm clock on the desk, it read twelve, exact.

He was in the darkness of his mind, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, not thinking, only existing as mass and not a human.

His eyes opened, all he saw was darkness. The numbness gave way to the feeling that he was in a free fall.

“What is this? Did the power go out?” Roy stood up and started to walk with his hands out stretched. He walked far more than the distance that his room was end-to-end, corner-to-corner, or even side-to-side. “What? Where am I?” With the vast emptiness his words made no echo. “Maybe I’m dead.” His own words fell heavy on him, “Maybe that’s for the best.” He stopped walking, “No it’s not! If I’m dead who’s going to stop Kevin? Who’s going to truly love Nina? Who’s going to keep mom company? The people that have lost their live because of me will have wasted their sacrifice, even if two of whom… I killed.” He then clenched his first, “If this is Hell, Devil get your ass out here! If this is Heaven, God get your ass out here!” Roy yelled.

A beam of light fell before him, continually falling from an unknown source; it was bright, almost blinding. Roy looked at it with confusion. The small beam started to expand in either direction, it solidified, creating a wall, bright, glowing as if made of light.

“What is this?” Roy asked himself.

Roy reached to touch it.

Before his fingers reached it…

…a line formed across the wall, perpendicular to the ground. Two large handles appeared on either side of the line.

“A door?”

Roy stood in front of the wall for several minutes, it seemed. When it appeared that the door was static and was not going to under go any changes Roy reached out and grabbed one of the handles.

He pulled and even though the door was massive it moved as if weightless.

Light flooded from the door, only to be swallowed by the infinite dark. Roy covered his eyes and walked in.

In side it was the same as where he was previously at, only instead of dark it was an intense light.

“Hello!” Came a seemingly familiar voice. “It’s so good to finally see you in the flesh!”

“Who are you? Where are you?” Roy asked.

“Seriously man? You don’t recognize my voice?”

“No, why should I?”

“Look around.” Roy did as the voice said, “I’m everywhere.”

“Fine then. Why am I here?” Roy asked.

“How the hell would I know? You came here didn’t you?” The voice asked.

“Well you see…” Roy was interrupted.

“I’m just fucking with you. I know why you’re here.” The voice joked, and with that Roy knew who it was.

“No, you can’t be… can you?”

“I always thought you where smarter than this.” The voice answered.

“Show yourself!” Roy demanded.

“Okay man, calm down.” The voice sounded closer, and a hand fell on Roy’s shoulder.

Roy turned around, he stood looking at himself.

There in front of him stood someone identical to himself. Two Roys.

“Who are you?” Roy asked.

“I’m you.” He answered.

“Stop fucking with me! Who are you and where am I?!” Roy yelled, he flashed red with anger.

“You seem a little upset, I’ll leave and come back when you are in a better mood.”

“Please…” Roy’s face turned sincere, sad almost. “Please tell me.”

“Okay I’ll tell you. What do you want to hear first?”

“Where am I?” Roy asked.

“Damn it, that’s the harder one! Okay, I’ll try to explain this, the best I can.” He took a deep breath. “This is your centre of being. This is where I reside, where I exist.”

“Then who are you?”

“I’m you.” He said smugly.

“Hey!”

“Man, I’m joking. I am you, but I’m only your subconscious.”

Roy looked at him confused.

“You know like the tradition belief of what the subconscious is.” Still Roy looked confused. “Seriously man, your smarter than this. I serve to give you insight, indirectly, I nudge you in the right direction.”

“Oh, I see.”

“But I do more.”

“Oh… like?”

“Well I should say I am more. I hear what you choose not to listen to, I see what you refuse to look at. I know everything about you, and have experience everything you have.”

“Then what’s your purpose?”

“Like I said, it’s to nudge you. Your slow to make decisions and when a decision needs to be made, my decisiveness helps you. There is no time here, so I am able to plan everything perfectly.”

“Then why don’t you help me more?!”

“My reach is limited. But I know something you’ll never know, that is unless I tell you.”

“What?”

“Your limits, your capabilities and your potential.”

“I’m not following.”

“Your, our, power what do you truly know about it?”

“Not much.”

“What limits do you think there are for this power?”

“Well, when I, what do you call it… astral projected it did damage to my body. So there’s a limit like that.”

“Really?”

“Yeah it has to be, right?” Roy asked in confusion.

“Would you still use it even after knowing that?”

“If I had a reason.”

“What if you would have stayed in that state as you did, just recently, if it was your first time?”

“I probably would have died.”

“So you think.”

“What?”

“You were thrown back to your body when it got to dangerous, when it was too strained. To answer my own question there are none. It is like a muscle, they become stronger in time, the more you use them the stronger they get, and they can be over exerted.”

“I see.”

Roy sat down, the other did the same.

“Ask another question.”

“Why am I here?”

“You wanted to escape, you opened your mind, soul and heart and you then fell into them.”

Roy looked down, just staring at the empty white.

“When you leave here, what will you do?”

“I don’t know, but you’ll help me right?”

“Nope.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see. Next question.” They looked at each other, both where smiling.

But Roy’s smile faded and his lips formed a straight line. “What should I do?”

“You mean about Kevin and Nina?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me ask you something first. How do you tell us from them, us with power from those without it?”

“I don’t know, how?”

“You don’t. There is no way from what I can see. And lets say your some random guy, and you have power and is of high standings. And lets say someone else has power but is not of high standings, and wants the other guys stuff. What will happen?”

“He’ll try to take it.”

“Correct, you get a gold star. They’ll fight, but what if that first guy does lose his stuff, what do you think he’ll do to that other guy? He’ll retaliate, and try to hit the other twice as hard, or the mentality that if I can’t have it no one can, sets in.”

“Okay, where is this going?”

“This goes back to you question about what to do. To stop the fighting and the fear of retaliation what has to happen?”

Roy thought for a few minutes, “Someone has to die.”

“Exactly, getting Nina back will embarrass Kevin, and if he is like us, and if he is hot headed, he might go after you, her and anything and anyone else in retaliations.”

“And?”

“So what I would do… what I would do is kill him. There’s just to much to risk if he does have power and is pity. And this might be a double standard, but I would also kill him just for manipulating Nina.”

“So your saying…”

“But a cap in his ass! In all honesty and all joking aside, kill him, kill him and don’t regret it.”

“That’s a little drastic, right?”

“I have had an eternity to think this over, and that’s the only decision, free of any repercussions. It’s not drastic, I’m not rash.”

“Okay I see.”

“Next question!”

“What will happen when I leave here?”

“You’ll see. Next question.”

Roy smiled. “Thanks man.”

They sat in the infinite white for some time without any further noise.

“What else can I do?”

“What do you mean?”

“With my powers, I mean.”

“You’ll see. I’ll tell you this, you’ll be amazed. Hell I’m amazed when I think about it, I’m still amazed and I’ve been here forever. It’s unlimited, boundless.”

“Your pretty cool. I’m pretty cool.”

“Oh mister humble.” He smiled, “Next question!”

“I don’t really have any, guess it’ll be some random stuff. When I was a baby, were you a baby too?”

“Dude that’s deep. When I think about it, I always just reflex what you look like, but I’m always wise and stuff.”

“Humble much.” Roy joked.

“Next question!”

“How do you feel about Nina?”

“Honest?”

“Yes.”

“She’s perfect. I see that she loves us. I love her and hope we can be together forever.”

“I guess I should get going then.” They stood up.

“Okay man. It was good actually being able to talk to someone.” He reached his hand out for Roy to shake.

Roy grabbed it and shook it. “I’m glad to have someone like you with me all the time.”

“After this you won’t.”

“What?!”

“You’ll be alone from here.”

“No... wait!...”

But it was to late, the other Roy turned to light, him along with the infinite white streamed into Roy, the whole of the light flooded into Roy’s body.

“What the hell!?” Roy yelled.

He blinked, but when he opened his eyes he was in his room.

His alarm clock still showed twelve.

“Wait, what? Is this what he was talking about?” Knowledge filled Roy’s mind. He could recall everything, every moment of his life, everything he had seen and heard, every detail. “I absorbed him?” a deep sorrow fell over him, “I’m alone. It’s like we merged I have all his knowledge, and now I’m alone.” Roy looked at his hands, and started to smile. “That’s what he meant, no limits, it’s amazing. What I could do was just a sliver of what I can do. No longer will I have to eat, sleep. This transcendence, it’s something else, I’m barely human.” His words were true, Roy fully understood the power he had gained. He could feel the internal damage and external injuries healing. His hair turned from gray to black. His scars healed, all creases and wrinkles faded. His body was being perfected, transcending human boundaries, closing in on those of the gods. Roy knew what he was capable of now. Thousands of abilities, powers, whatever he would choose to call it, filled his mind. “It’s scary, the things I can do. If the other people are hundreds of times stronger like Lucius said, then they are nothing.” Roy walked over to his mirror, he could see what was occurring. All blemishes left his skin, once fair, a new tone developed, tan almost. “My hairs brown. Weird.” Any stray moles vanished, his body was without fault, in both aesthetics and in build. His mind was sharp, but there were two things Roy noticed that where off. There was an emptiness from him no longer having a subconscious, no one to rely on; and the second, an emptiness filled his whole being, he missed Nina now more than ever. “I’ll free her from his control, then I’ll kill him.”